Let’s just get controversial, shall we?

There are many people that might say that God has picked one person for you to marry.

I want to know where people get that idea.

Where in the Bible does it say God has picked your husband or bride for you, and you have to be on the alert constantly for clues as to who it is?

I can see how the concept might appeal to some people. It can be taken as a very romantic sentiment, that he/she is the only one for you, that this marriage was chosen in heaven, that there can be no possible other. Maybe it can give people a sense that there’s much less possibility for conflict or divorce, since if it was chosen by God, how can it fall apart? Which of course lulls them into a false sense of instability, and making it likely for them to be eaten by a grue.

So let me tell you what I think, since this IS my blog, after all. I believe we have a choice, as we have the ability to choose a career, or choose which car to get. However, I think we need to operate under the will of God, and what I mean by that is the moral will of God that he has laid out in the Bible. I don’t think God has said that he will pick out our spouses FOR us, dropping them into our laps, so to speak. But he does give requirements and guidelines in terms of choosing a spouse, the first and most notable being that they need to be a Christian. But that’s our choice, to either be in God’s moral will in that sense, or not to be. God won’t necessarily plunk us in front of our future spouse and say, “Hey! You guys should be married, go find a pastor already!” Not saying that’s out of the question, just that it shouldn’t be expected.

“But Derek, that’s so unromantic,” I can imagine you saying. “MY significant other is definitely the ONLY one I could ever love so much that it makes my face slightly sore from the love that is shown in my eyes and sloppy kisses!”

Bleh, first off.

Second, learn grammar.

Third, you seem to not have grasped the concept of love. Love requires a choice. Love requires effort. Love doesn’t just happen, whether inspired by God or otherwise. What’s romantic about “easy” love? What’s more romantic, CHOOSING someone, or having someone chosen for you by God, requiring little effort on your part to love that person? Isn’t it worth more when your significant other loves you because they WANT to love you? When they make sacrifices to love you because they chose you over all the other allowable candidates? That seems more romantic to me.

That’s just my appeal to the romantics, not my actual argument. My argument is that I don’t think there’s any Scripture pointing toward God choosing our spouses for us.

Feel free to interject.

Currently listening to: Super Rad! by The Aquabats (iTunes)


About Derek

Well hello there. I'm a thoughtful chap who loves God and swing dancing. I tend to live in the moment with the future in mind, and I try make everything as worth it as possible. And if I can do something that makes me look silly, making my friends laugh, I'll probably do it. View all posts by Derek

One response to “Let’s just get controversial, shall we?

  • Inquisitive Moose

    I totally agree. While it’s certainly possible that following God’s direction will put you in the right place at the right time to meet your spouse, it’s still our choice, and their isn’t a “right” choice.

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