Tag Archives: relationship

Believe it or not…

So you know that thing I had talked about in my previous post that I said may or may not happen that you may or may not hear about?

Yeah, I think I’m gonna tell you about it now. Because it’s happening.

My good friend, Emily LeFever, and I are now courting as of yesterday. Or dating. Whatever you want to call it. But not dating the way the world sees it.

Dating in the world’s eyes is essentially the illusion of a deep relationship with a someone because of the high level of romantic intimacy that couples dive into right off the bat. This leads to getting attached to someone for the wrong reasons, e.g. being with them because they make you feel good, or because it gives you security. And a lot of times, dating is used as an end in and of itself. In other words, there are a lot of people who date because they like dating, or are just dating with no clear purpose in mind. This just feels wrong to me.

Because of the immediate romantic/emotional intimacy that happens really fast in such a dating relationship, it leaves out a lot of opportunity to actually get to know the other person. Both parties are trying to impress the other person, not figure out who the heck they’re dating. Infatuation tends to be blinding, a mask to cover issues in a relationship.

Essentially, what I’m saying is that dating in the world tends to be more about fun than anything.

What Emily and I have agreed upon is a relationship with a purpose, a goal. That goal is to find out if marriage is a possibility. And this stage of our relationship will end in either marriage or not marriage. The idea is to find out about as much of the other person (and ourselves) as we can, while romance grows appropriately around that. The goal is to guard our hearts, guard each other’s hearts, and grow in God as we discover who we are together.

We’ve also decided to not make it “Facebook official” yet, mainly because we’ll get 40 thousand notifications (each) from people commenting on our relationship status saying, “OMG, congratulations!!! You two are so cute together! You guys should get married and have babies together!!!!” And we’re not really keen on that, considering the nature of the relationship is to find out who we are, not jump into a bunch of peer accelerated romance. Perhaps we’ll put it up in the future, we’re not sure yet.

But I at least wanted you all to know about it, because I’m pretty excited about this new season in life. :)